Parish Voices
Bulletin For The Fourth Week Of Ordinary Time 

When is the last time you met a difficult person? We all do at one point or another. It can be easy to feel resentful afterward, especially when they try to bring you down. I met someone like this very recently, who called into question my entire existence. At the time, I was patient, dancing around his harsh words with a smile. I realized at the time that he was calling me out. It was only after that I felt a grudge against this man forming. As in all things, it's important to look at scripture to understand how to feel and act in these situations. The most obvious verse comes from Ephesians 4:31-32, “All bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and slander must be removed from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, compassionate, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.” Gosh, it's not easy to forgive, is it? My first reaction may be to see the person who wronged me as the villain, but that's not exactly the way we should look at things. I try to look at the person as God created him. His soul was innocent before it became corrupted by sin. He also may have been hurt by someone else. There are a ton of extenuating circumstances that could have led to our confrontation that day, and to forgive it's important to try and see who the person is before you judge them as evil. Praying for this person is important as well and wishing them the best in life.  So, you've forgiven the person, now what? Should we forget and forgive? The answer to that question isn't so straightforward. While it's important to refrain from dwelling on the harsh words that were flung at us, we have no obligation to put ourselves in a situation where this person may hurt us again, especially if it's an abusive spouse. If kids are involved, it's absolutely imperative that we avoid them at all costs. If the person is harmless and contact is unavoidable, then it's our job to be kind, no matter how they act. Let them talk and offer their opinion, listening intently to what they have to say. By speaking less, we reduce the odds that they may lash out again, especially if we can make them feel heard and important.  We are to “turn the other cheek,” as it were. At the end of the day, this person doesn't know us, and they can't possibly know what's in our head or our heart. So, kill them with kindness, and remember the words of the Lord's prayer “Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.” God bless you all, Adam.